I came across these little numbers in the grocery store the other day. Chocolate Banana Storm and his little mentally challenged sidekick, Strawberry Storm.
The first thought that crossed my mind was, ‘why the hell would someone want to turn real wholesome fruit into an organ-destroying puree’? It made me think I had just had a stroke. Bananas and strawberries are perfect just the way they are – why would you want to process them with this powdered crap? The demonic concoction will do you more harm than good. It’s a lot like saying, ‘your Grandma is perfect just the way she is – how about making her into a hooker. No? But why not?
At least the packaging accurately depicts the cold, icy chills you will get before you have a violent bowel movement after consuming either one of these products. The frothy brown diarrhea that will result from ingesting the Chocolate Banana Storm is nicely displayed on the front of the package.
Expect nothing less than painful, bloody diarrhea from Strawberry Storm brew.
If you hate your internal organs and digestive tract, these products are just the thing for you. I hope you enjoy sitting on corks.
Comments on this entry are closed.